Monday, June 30, 2008
we say life is a like a drama.people say we are what we speak, but how true is that? we know ourselves that there are many instances where we dont speak what we really feel but instead what others would find it reasonable or please to hear. so, the equation dont seems to be balanced now. but sometimes, it does. we are not always hiding out true feelings, especially when to family and close ones. we can somehow compare ourselves with actors on stage or in a play. like them, we play by the role required and the script given. and we are well aware of the consequences of going off-the-course. but when off stage, we are ourselves, whoever we are. sadly, there are limited moments where we could actually enjoy this privacy to ourselves.
i guess generally each of us has multiple roles to play. thus the limited time to be our own. on work, we have to play the role of a hardworking employee. to family and friends, an obedient and responsible child, a reliable and trustworthy friend. of course, the actual number of roles would be too many for me to name them all. but we do have moments off-stage where we can finally take off the mask we wear and the burden of each role off our shoulders. usually, these moments are enjoyed while we are alone. sitting quietly in the room, looking out on the streets and letting our true feelings and thoughts run silently in our minds. and alone because, without the mask, we may feel naked and insecured.
but sometimes, we do reveal this true self to others. they are usually our family and close ones. ultimately, there is the element of trust and faith we are talking about. we believed they are ones who really understands us and will acknowledge our thoughts and feelings, which explains why we are more willing to bear our 'selves' to them.
baring our feelings may helps to lessen our burden at most times, be it mentally or practically. problems or burdens are often less heavy when shared. it may also allow better understanding and helps improve relationships between the parties. the more we know about each other, the more we can understand how each other works and unnecessary brushes can be avoided. so much on the nice parts. however, it may have other implications too. we have to consider the consequences that it may bring upon, the feelings of others involved in the issue and so on. and
because we have too many feelings to consider, we have to set aside our own feelings at times. i meant this by hiding the feelings by full or part, just because we know the full exposure may hurt someone or bring about something bad. how many times actually do we have something to say but we subconsciously stopped ourselves from saying them out because we can reasonably foresee the consequences to be more or less undesirable?
freedom of speech. do we really have it?
Friday, June 27, 2008
humans are complex creatures. our brains work in a way whereby there is not much standard procudures or processes to follow. for times where we sometimes may, there's still tendency for the unexpected to arise. the great discovery of dna patterns depicted each and every of us as unique creatures. we are supposedly to have unique set of features and thoughts. well, we surely do. we think differently, tend to act differently and our views are based on our own views and perceptions. sometimes certain people may share similar views, sometimes they dont. because of the way or we may it the process through which we were raised from young and the things that we've gone through, the shape of our perceptions and basis of judgement varies.
growing up in a well-diversed society like singapore, we should realise that everybody tend to work differently and think differently. some may argued that living in the same society creates a common ground, but considering it carefully, we are afterall raised up by different parents and under different situations. for example we may ate the same brand of cereals, but we dont share exactly the same kind of childhood, playing the very same game and been through exactly the same situations dont we?
having been through a quarter or so of a human life, we should already encounter countless chances whereby people thought that they were right and wanted us to be right. i believe alot of these times, we thought it was left instead. did i just hit the bingo? by the way, what were we feeling at that point? that we were right instead or do we first analyse both sides then make the decision to stand where? sometimes, we fail to stand in each other's shoes to see the situation more clearly. its common by fact, we cannot blame nor complain cos we were of guilty of such also isnt it? but i believe, trust and open mind would help though. i think sometimes we need to have better understanding. we need to calm down and get back to the fact that people have different thoughts and definitely their reasons for doing so. alot of times, relationships between individuals are fragile because they lack trust and respect. a bond is not service by mere smiles, actions or greetings. these are just surface factors. how strong is a bond between individuals are measured by trust and respect. its the faith and believing part that we placed on each other that is important. its the silent parts that really count.
its unfair to judge on first instance. but hitting back to reality, life's like that, there bound to be unfairness. this is something we cannot change. talking about reasons, we may dont have one or dont even need one sometimes. unfair? but life's like that, reality is twisted and cruel. but what can you do? let's ask ourselves this simple question, are there times whereby you dislike something but you really cant find a reason for it? i bet there are. so how about that, you dont have a reason to give too right? if you dont have, why must others have one then? judgement are passed by individuals, its really hard to change but not necessary that it cant be change. it takes times and maybe certain things to happen to change it. but forcing is definitely not an option. find it unreasonable? i give a real life example to clear the understanding part.
take the example of insurance. most of us had bad impression of insurance. there may or may not be any reasons for it. we may had bad experience or heard bad experiences or just dont like it. then if im an agent, i would hope to change your opinion, keep promoting or mentioning to you the pros of insurance. but think, at this time where you had negative idea about insurance, the keep on bringing up the insurance part would only add pressure and irritation and create more adverse impact instead of changing your opinion. dont you agree? sometimes certain things are not difficult to understand, we need to hit it from logical stand to get it. an impression wouldnt change just because of promotion or keep mentioning of it. if it was to be change, it will be taking a natural course.
we loved to gain acceptance, thats common. but we have to remember too, acceptance is by individual. we cannot force it dont we? if you like mcnuggets and i dont, i would respect and go get mcnuggets with you. but dont force me to eat it will you? respect should go both ways. alot of times, we may not think on common platforms but we need to respect each other's decision. if i dont like, and you want me to like, i can do so, but its not me anymore.
sometimes i really wonder, my elders and brothers used to tell me that im being naive by being so nice to everybody. because when at rare times im not, people start questioning me why im not being my normal and alot of issues would arise. people, i need to clarify. i can be nice and may have in your eyes always been, but im not obliged to be like that forever. sometimes when im not, it doesnt means im angry or whatever. assumptions always kill. stating the assumption verdict even before i was even put on trial was unfair. libra hate to be done injustice. sadly speaking, im a very true libra. i dont always do long smses, sometimes when im busy i may give very short reply or never reply at all. but dont you all do the same too when you're busy with something? do i complain and ask why were they so? i believed i almost never. people who really know me well would understand, they wouldnt question or doubt. i called that trust and faith, something which i find very important in human relationships. people like yanfang, winnie, my sisters, you know me best. sometimes i may not be that nice, but please understand that im human too, i've my problems to solve and things to think about.
im not born to please.i thought we had it. and then i realised we may not or there's not enough of it.sometimes its saddening to realise the truth, but reality is so.
Monday, June 23, 2008
sometimes when things are too much a routine, we tend to gradually take them for granted. so much so that we forget, the initial reason for its beginning. be it people, things, or even the environment or surrounding that we're living in. we always bear the assumption that they'll always be there without fail. what we didnt thought of is that what if one fine day, they are not around or if things are different from what they used to be.. what should we do, how do we react?
sometimes, we need to stop and look around us. capture that moment in heart, the people and things in mind. the world changes by the seconds and sadly speaking, people do change too. things do not stay the same always, for we all know even if they do try to remain, unexpected circumstances will still arise somehow. like they say, beautiful moments dont last but when they occur, they're really beautiful and will be remembered in our hearts.
we should learn to cherish before its too late, because by then, the second chance dont come.
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apart from my little thoughts, i wish to pay my final respect to the late Adrian Yeo who left us on 20th june 2008. you'll always be remembered in the hearts of your loved ones and may you rest in peace in heaven. may jesus be with you always.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
we are here too, but why dont you see it?
